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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Apollo's LiveJournal:

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Friday, August 24th, 2001
1:17 am
I LIKED THIS KID YO
OK SO I MET THIS KID JEROME. HE AND I GOT ALONG WELL. I LIKED HIM AND ALL. HE LIKED ME. WE SPENT A LOT OF TIME TOGETHER CHILLING. BUT WE HAVE A PROBLEM. WERE'S BOTH TOPS. FOR THE GAYLY CHALLENGED. THAT MEANS WE BOTH LIKE TO STICK OUR DICKS IN GUYS ASS'. NEITHER ONE OF US IS MUCH WILLING TO GIVE IT UP FOR THE OTHER. SO WE DECIDED TO JUST BE FRIENDS. IT'S REALLY FUCKED UP YOU KNOW. I LIKE HIM. HE IS SO MY TYPE IN EVER OTHER WAY. THE GUY I MET BEFORE HIM WAS REALY COOL BUT HE HAD A BOI FRIEND. SO HERE ENTERS JERMOME AND EVERYTGHING SEEMS COOL. BUT IT DIDN'T WORK OUT AND I WHISH IT HAD. I'M AT GEORGIA STATE NOW AND I'M SEEING ALL THESE REALLY NICE LOOKING DUDES AND IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY. I'M NOT A HOE SO I CAN'T JUST FUCK AROUND. AND I DON'T WANT TO LOOK FOR LOVE. BUT I AM GETTING KINDA LONELY WITH BEING SINGLE. OH WELL. WHAT'S A SINGLE GAY KID TO DO.
1:13 am
I LIKED THIS KID YO
OK SO I MET THIS KID JEROME. HE AND I GOT ALONG WELL. I LIKED HIM AND ALL. HE LIKED ME. WE SPENT A LOT OF TIME TOGETHER CHILLING. BUT WE HAVE A PROBLEM. WERE'S BOTH TOPS. FOR THE GAYLY CHALLENGED. THAT MEANS WE BOTH LIKE TO STICK OUR DICKS IN GUYS ASS'. NEITHER ONE OF US IS MUCH WILLING TO GIVE IT UP FOR THE OTHER. SO WE DECIDED TO JUST BE FRIENDS. IT'S REALLY FUCKED UP YOU KNOW. I LIKE HIM. HE IS SO MY TYPE IN EVER OTHER WAY. THE GUY I MET BEFORE HIM WAS REALY COOL BUT HE HAD A BOI FRIEND. SO HERE ENTERS JERMOME AND EVERYTGHING SEEMS COOL. BUT IT DIDN'T WORK OUT AND I WHISH IT HAD. I'M AT GEORGIA STATE NOW AND I'M SEEING ALL THESE REALLY NICE LOOKING DUDES AND IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY. I'M NOT A HOE SO I CAN'T JUST FUCK AROUND. AND I DON'T WANT TO LOOK FOR LOVE. BUT I AM GETTING KINDA LONELY WITH BEING SINGLE. OH WELL. WHAT'S A SINGLE GAY KID TO DO.
Monday, August 13th, 2001
3:12 am
BUSY AS HELL
Ok so I haven't updated my journal in a long ass time. I've been busy. Starting school next week. Working more hours at my job. All kinda shit. But the basic thing is. I've been meeting a lot of dudes and for the first time in a long time. I like a guy. I mean I actually like a guy. Not lust or just attracted to but actually like. He is real cool and sweet and all that kinda shit. But the thing is he is kinda seeing someone. I don't know where that's going. The guy doesn't treat him the way he should be treated and he is thinking about dipping. I don't know even if that happens if we're just gonna be friends or what. I don't know but I do know that I hope we do. It's been a while since I've actually haf these feelings and it would be nice if I could be with him you know. But I wont stress it and if it happens it happens if not then oh well.
Friday, July 6th, 2001
11:38 pm
It's Been A Hot Minute
Well it's been a hot minute since I've writtin in this journal. I've been busy and shit. Well me and Darren aren't talking as much anymore. I told him that I didn't appreciate what he said. That he shouldn't have even said anything that sounded close to that. But we talk every now and again. I met this one dude that seemed to be cool. But I think we are only going to be friends and not try to take a friendship to another level. I will admit that we messed around. But he was awful. We didn't have sex. Just messed around. He wasn't good at for play at all. I tried to guide him and tell him what would work better but he still wasn't doing it right so I was like fuck it. You can't even be a fuck buddy. But it's cool. He's a cool dude. So we can be friends. I didn't think we could be more anyway. I didn't feel it.
Tuesday, June 26th, 2001
3:51 am
He Has Some Probs
Well me and Derek have been chillin but he has some problems. He sometimes makes noises that really get to me you know. But that's cool. I can deal with it. But he is always stressing over trivial things and he called here tonight and my moms answered the phone at the same time I did. She was worried about my cousin who was supposed to call so I could pick him up. She was saying Hello and asking for my cousin and Derek was like tell your mom to get off the phone. He said later that he didn't say that. I told him Me and my mom both heard it. He was like naw he didn't say that and he couldn't believe I would think he would. I know what I heard and my mom knows. That was kinda like ok. This guy disrespected my moms and you know how black men are about our moms. I don't think I can chill with someone that would disrespect her. You know what I mean
Friday, June 22nd, 2001
5:20 am
This Kid Is So Cool
Well I said there was someone that I was feeling. Well this kid named Derek is so cool. He and I really click and I actually feel him. We conversate all the time and I think something might come of it. I don't feel bad about Donald. He didn't even call me back the last time we talked. It was over a week ago that I left him a message to call me. Fuck him. I didn't really feel him like that so you know. It's cool. This guy Derek is so coool and cute to top it off so I hope all works out for me.
Tuesday, June 19th, 2001
12:26 am
I Let Him Know
I let him know what was up with us. I told him that we didn't see each other enough. That we hardley ever talked. That my scheduel was about to get more hectic. That i was going to be working more hours then I was going to have another job at a night club and to top it all off school and plays were going to start happening in Aug. So he was like what's your solution. I told him It wasn't just my solution. He said he couldn't thik of anything. So I was like well. We could brake up. Live or seperate lives and come together when we can or we could just argue about the shit all the time. He said he didn't know. SO I told him to let me know when he does. That was the last time we spoke. THat was like a week ago. Oh well. I guess things are not going to work out. To be honest I really don't mind. I met this cool guy I actually do feel anyway
Tuesday, June 12th, 2001
10:51 pm
Still Ain't Feelin' It
Ok so I'm still not feeling this guy in the way I wish I could. I quess if it doesn't turn around soon I will have to break up with him. I feel kinda bad because I keep wanting to get with other guys. I mean I keep meeting nice looking guys and I want to take it there but I am being good so far. But I don't now how long I can stay with someone I don't feel.
10:45 pm
Still Ain't Feelin' It
Ok so I'm still not feeling this guy in the way I wish I could. I quess if it doesn't turn around soon I will have to break up with him. I feel kinda bad because I keep wanting to get with other guys. I mean I keep meeting nice looking guys and I want to take it there but I am being good so far. But I don't now how long I can stay with someone I don't feel.
Saturday, June 9th, 2001
12:25 am
The Sex Is Great
Ok so I went to Donald's house on Tuesday. I wasn't going to at first. I was at work and I was going to go after I got off since he was off that night. Then I really wanted to see something on TV and I said I would go home and watch that first. So I did. Then I talked to him and he kinda pissed me off so I decided not to go. I went to the grocery store and I saw this couple and they were all lovey dovey and I decided why not. I should go see him. Even though he stays all the way across town. On the way there I started thinking about this guy that came into the store today. The kid was about 16. But you know how in the movies. When someone whose beautifil walks into the room. The wind blows and harps play. Well that's what should've happened when this kid walk in. He was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen in my life. He was gorgious. He had short curly brwon hair. Big brown eyes. Lony thick eye lashes. Thick eyebrows and a killer smile. He came up to me and asked if we where hiring. I wanted to say yes. But we aren't. So I gave him an application and told him to apply anyway. Then we looked at one another for a hot minute then he said "Aiight. Thanks man." and walked out. I was like damn. I was thinking of this because if it wasn't for Donald I would have hit on that kid. Then I got there and we watched tv for a little while. RuPaul's bio on BRAVO. Then we started to have oral sex and we both came/ Then we cleaned up and he went into his bathroom to washe up and I came in and started kissing him. I took off his underwear and lead him to the bed. We missed around then we started having sex. It was so damn good. We fucked. And I like that. to FUCK. FUCK until you can't even I'm so tired my muscle ache and they can't walk or sit down. And we did it that night. That's all that feels right with him. This relationship ain't gonna work out. I wish it would. I really do. But I don't feel that spark with him still.
Monday, June 4th, 2001
2:53 am
I Still Made The Right Choice....But
Ok I know I made the right choice. I don't doubt that. But I went on a date and even though the guy was cool. I liked him. He was cute and 19. So I was only a year older then him. Well I'll be 21 in AUG. But I didn't feel that tingle, you know. I mean I was so wanting to kick it with this kid. We have been chillin as friends for like two weeks and we finally go on a date and I can't stop thinking about Donald. That's the fuck buddy guy. His name is O'Donald. But I only call him Donald. Afterwards I called him to confirm our weekend plans. I was looking forward to spending this weekend with him because it would show me what should be between us. I needed to break off what we had at the time it happened and although it had only been a few days since that happened. It was enough time to get me over that doubt of us. If I was still with him and had those thoughts. I wouldn't have gotten over them. So breaking up was a good thing. Now I could see if we should take that chance. I mean part of me wonders if I was so worried becuase he was the one who asked me to be with him. I mean I'm always the one who makes that move. I mean he was laying in my arms, which looks weird because he isn't built but he is bigger than me in height and weight, and he just asked me to be his. I was like damn. It sound nice so I said yes. Well The weekend didn't happen. His best friend showed up and she going to stay the night at his place. He wanted me to still come but I was like naw. I wasn't in the mood to spend the weekend with him and her. I wanted to be with him. After talking to him three times that day I realized I did want to be with him and I asked him if we could give it another try and just learn about us on the way. He said yeah. I stated: "So your my baby again?" He replied:"I always was."
2:39 am
I Still Made The Right Choice....But
Ok I know I made the right choice. I don't doubt that. But I went on a date and even though the guy was cool. I liked him. He was cute and 19. So I was only a year older then him. Well I'll be 21 in AUG. But I didn't feel that tingle, you know. I mean I was so wanting to kick it with this kid. We have been chillin as friends for like two weeks and we finally go on a date and I can't stop thinking about Donald. That's the fuck buddy guy. His name is O'Donald. But I only call him Donald. Afterwards I called him to confirm our weekend plans. I was looking forward to spending this weekend with him because it would show me what should be between us. I needed to break off what we had at the time it happened and although it had only been a few days since that happened. It was enough time to get me over that doubt of us. If I was still with him and had those thoughts. I wouldn't have gotten over them. So breaking up was a good thing. Now I could see if we should take that chance. I mean part of me wonders if I was so worried becuase he was the one who asked me to be with him. I mean I'm always the one who makes that move. I mean he was laying in my arms, which looks weird because he isn't built but he is bigger than me in height and weight, and he just asked me to be his. I was like damn. It sound nice so I said yes. Well The weekend didn't happen. His best friend showed up and she going to stay the night at his place. He wanted me to still come but I was like naw. I wasn't in the mood to spend the weekend with him and her. I wanted to be with him. After talking to him three times that day I realized I did want to be with him and I asked him if we could give it another try and just learn about us on the way. He said yeah. I stated: "So your my baby again?" He replied:"I always was."
Thursday, May 31st, 2001
3:15 am
I Made The Right Choice
Ok so that dude that was supposed to be my fuck buddy. Well On Memorial day I went to his place and we spent the day together. After making out for a while. He told me he wanted my to be his man and I thought about it. It wouldn't be so bad. So I said yes. Then we were intmate thw rest of the day. The next day after thinking I couldn't even call him my boyfriend. That's when I knew I could let this go on. We didn't know each other well enough to be in relationship. We weren't at that point yet. So I told him tonight and he seemed ok with it. So I feel good because I know I was right for stopping it before we madea big mistake.
3:12 am
POP
Ok so I watched the making of the video for *NSYNC's POP video. OK I had a cruch on Justin before but I wanted to pin his legs behind his head and ride him into the sunset when i watched that video. How cute was he in that salesman suite. But anyway I can't believe I have and entry in my journal about *NSYNC. HOW GAY IS THAT!!!! DAY-UM
Monday, May 28th, 2001
1:24 am
Fuck Buddy
Ok so I have a fuck buddy now. He's cool. 25 and down to earth. I wanted my fuck buddy to be around my age 19,20,or 21. But my being 20 and he being 25 isn't so bad. We chill and talk and joke a lot. We are friends with sexual benifits and that's great right now. It's what we both want and if I meet someone or he meets someone then it will be cool. I'm going to spend the weekend at his place and it will be cool I'm sure. A lot of fun and sex too.
1:20 am
Motherly Love
My mom is great but she is like overwhelming sometimes. She keeps coming into my room and telling me I need to dind a boy friend because everyone needs someone to love that loves them in return. She tells me that I need to be safe and that I need to have dun. That's great but I don't need to hear it every single night. She also asked me the are you the giver or reciever question. When I told her I was the giver she was happy, Thne she said "You be tearing that ass up too huh?" Ok too much info from my mom
Thursday, May 24th, 2001
12:21 am
I went on a job interview today. The lady was really impressed with me. Or so she said. She told me that she wanted to hire ,e and that she would try to find some hours for me to come in and that in the fall it could be full time. Afterwards I went over to De'Drah's. houese. I was about to come out to her but I just didn't feel right so I decided not too. I know I'm going to have too soon. I don't want to continue lying when we go out. I watched the season finale of Dawson's Creek and Felicity. Dawsom was cool. I wanted to see more of Kerr Smith. I have this tv crush on his character. Felicity could have been better. Buffy was good last night. I actually wanted to cry durring the last scene when she died and they were all gathered around her body. I felt bad for spike. He was so cute and he really loved her. But I don't really have much to say. Trying to stay away from the drama.
Friday, May 18th, 2001
2:20 am
Doing Good
Ok so I haven't written in here in a while. I've been chillin. I've met some cool peeps and I've been loooking for a job. I had an interview today and I have another one Wednesday. When it comes to dudes. I a still making friends and I wouldn't mind finding someone cool. I was out with some friends the other night and the waiter was checking me out. I didn't notice it but they did. One of them knows about me and the other one doesn't. Then we went to Inserections. A porn store here and we were standing by the entrance and this guy walked in. We caught eye contact imediately. He was soooooooooooooo fine. He was light skinned with a gotte. He thick eyebrows and lashes. He had an afro which I usually don't go for but he was cute with it. PLus I could see him braiding it into corn rows. That would really sexy. When we began walking around I turned to look at him and he ws still looking at me. Turning his knecka nd everything trying to get a good look. I wanted to talk to him soooooo bad but D'Drah was with us and she doesn't know about me. When Shekira and I were alone she said she saw how the guy was looking at me and if it had been ont the two of us she would have made sure that I talk to him. She thought he was fine too. Today we went to the movies to see The Mummy Returns. It was good as hell. This guy working there was so cute I wanted to talk to him too but yet again D'Drah was there so I couldn't. Oh well. I will be aiight.
Saturday, May 12th, 2001
1:21 am
Meeting Cool Peeps
Well my friend De'dra called me today and asked me to go with her to drop off some thigns for a friend of hers. Well we went downtown and went to his apartment. We he opened the door I tought, hey, he looks like he's cute. I could really tell because there were no lights in the living room. then when we came in and I got to look at him. I saw that he was realy cute and he has this really nice body. Nice and slim with out too much muscle. He has this sweet baby face and a great personality. We are a lot alike. Even De'Dra commented on that. She was like "You two are so much alike. It's crazy." Then we went out to dinner. Well they went out and I gtalk to them. I wasn't hungry at all. I talked to him and he was soooooooo funny and sweet. He is the type of person that you just love to hang out with. And he has a really good job. He's only 23 and he is the head of his own team at a record company. I feel this dude a lot.
Friday, May 11th, 2001
2:23 am
Back Home
Ok so I'm back home and it is sooooooooo great to be here. I can't believe that I'm home for good. It didn't take me long to drive down. I wasn't even speeding. I got home took a shower and went to sleep. It was so relacing being back in my own home and bed. I am loving being back in my room with no one else there. I am in bliss if you can't tell. On the Miguel front he and I hung out todaya nd things where cool. It was around 11:00 and I haven't really gotten any rest since I have been here and I was getting tired. We weren't doing anything but driving around and then he wanted to take his car home. He'd left it over his friends house. So I followed him. He was hungry so he wanted to eat. Iw asn't. We were going to go to IHOP. It was right down the street from his apartment complex. When we got there they were closing. So he wanted to go to Wendy's. He still hadn't taken his car home. SO he got in his car and droce to Wendy's. The line was sooooooo long. I parked my car and waited a few minutes. He still hadn't moved so I drove up to him and told him that I was going to call him when I got home because I was going toi go on home. He said ok. I could tell he didn't like it but I figured it's ok because we will talk in a few and that's all we were going to do any way. When I got hom and called him he said he didn't wasnt to talk to me because that was fucked up what I did. I was like ok. I was tired and I wanted to go home and I told you I would call you when I got here. He said whatever and then I was like fuck it. I told him that I was sick and tired of apologixing and trying to explain myself to him and then I hung up. I don't have time to deal with someone's bitching.
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